Grief is an Individual Process
Pet owners often report that their pets provide them with many mental health benefits and improve mental health overall. They offer unwavering companionship, unconditional love, acceptance, and loyalty. The support of a pet can be described as the ideal friendship. It is no surprise that they can alleviate anxiety and depression-like symptoms.
When the evitable death of a pet happens or is about to happen, it can be devastating to the pet owner. Grief sets in strong and heavy, impacting the friend left behind to the very core. Memories can flood the mind day and night resulting in little reprieve from the pain of loss. Renee who lost her dog, Charles, feels this type of pain. She struggled with anxiety and self-esteem following years of being bullied in school by her peers and later by her ex-husband. After the divorce, Renee adopted Charles. Charles quickly brought her comfort and acceptance. Their relationship helped her anxiety levels and helped her rebuild her self-esteem. He was a big part of a pivotal moment in her life. When he died from old age, she was heartbroken. Her close friend of 10 years was gone.
Renee cannot function at work following the death of Charles and needs to take time off. She does not qualify for bereavement pay because it does not cover the death of a pet. She heard from the grapevine at work that recently someone insensitively commented that she is “overreacting” by taking a week off work after her dog died. Renee searches for answers on the internet after questioning her emotions and she learns that a lot of what she is experiencing is experienced by many others grieving their pets.
Stages of Grief
Her internet search normalizes a lot of her grief experience. She learns that it is natural to feel intense grief, which comes with an array of emotions. However, during her online search, grief stages are frequently mentioned. They create confusion for her because her experience has not followed a stage-like process.
Many people are aware of the Five Stages of Grief proposed by Kubler Ross including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These widespread stages are often misunderstood and create confusion. They were intended to be applied to the experiences of those who were in the process of dying but are often applied to how we respond to the loss of a loved one. Kubler Ross did not want to suggest to others how to grieve or for others to assume that their grief would be a stage-like process.
Grief is an Individual Process
Every person will grieve differently as grief is an individual process. This resonates with Renee and removes the pressure of needing to grieve in what society may view as the proper way. Her experience of grief is natural and healthy; it is by no means an overreaction. The memories she has with her dog, Charles, are important to her and she will always treasure them.
To help with her own grief, Renee has been kinder to herself about needing time off, she developed a ritual to honor her pet with a scrapbook she created, and she joined a pet loss support group in her community. The scrapbook includes her favorite memories with Charles and she finds it therapeutic to work on during some free moments. Every night when she misses Charles the most, she looks through her scrapbook and lights a candle. People in Renee’s pet loss support group engage in similar or different rituals to grieve their pets. Regardless of how they grieve, their experiences are acknowledged and respected.
Professional Support
Grief can be overwhelming and hard to navigate. It is a time that frequently comes with existential questions. Often grief can feel like and present like depression. It is not uncommon for those grieving to struggle with anxiety or other issues such as substance abuse or emotional regulation. A Psychotherapist can help normalize your experiences and work with you to address your struggles. Please Contact Us or Book Now to reserve a free 15 minute consultation.
Please press here to access a link to a free grief resource on the website titled, Grief and Loss Reflection Questions, designed to help you with processing your grief.
We also offer a workbook titled, Effective Methods for Coping with Grief Workbook. Please press here to access the workbook. The workbook provides additional support and guidance to help you cope with your grief. It is available for purchase here.
